And here is a list of guidelines and rules for my Santa:
1) No drinking to excess. I mean of course I can take a little nip from some spiked nog, but being a fall down drunk Santa (see “Bad Santa”) is not the wink and nod that I want to give to the ancestry of St. Nicks.
2) As much fun as it might sound, trying out a chimney might be construed as trespassing in real life.
3) Thankfully most of my gigs are for adults and that means whatever happens in Chicago stays in Chicago. Any sort of shady Santa activities will remain a secret from Mrs. Claus.
4) The Santa and lap sitter relationship is a sacred one. It is a bond that I shall not desecrate with inappropriate touching of adult women. The touching will all be done under the mistletoe.
5) I shall not let any cougar go un-hit-on. Cougars like Santa right?
Also, I know that this whole “Sarah’s going to transform herself into Santa for little amounts of money” is a little strange. But I promise not to become this guy.
North Pole News Post #1)
I have my first official paying Santa gig this Friday. I’m the surprise for a work party, and it is NOT the Burnett Breakfast, believe me, I wish it was. Anyways, I have plenty of dirty Santa jokes, dirty lap dance jokes, and plenty of dirty dirty things to pass out.
North Pole News Post #2)
The Halsted’s Bar + Grill event has been moved to Friday, December 16th. ALSO, I will be bringing Santa’s little helper, aka Mistress, who will be taking photos at the Snaps with Santa Photo Booth. Come one, come all, get your photo taken on Santa’s Lap and I’ll post those photos on my blog.