Day 17 – Santa Sutton was a Success

Last night’s Santa event was a total success and I have a sore throat to prove it! It is really hard to deepen your voice and HO HO HO all night (#whitegirlproblems). For some of the night I sat on a lovely arm chair provided by Halsted’s own Ms. Amanda (or at least her family let her borrow it) and folks would sit on my lap and take saucy photos with me.* The patrons were mainly doing the sauciness, turns out the gays sure know how to make a guy blush. I thought I was dirty…  Some of the night I wandered about the bar passing out candy canes. My favorite moments of the night were when I was standing outside of the bar trying to get pedestrians to come in. The music was blaring outside and with my big ol’ fat gut dancing is a lot more fun. The great part of being behind a mask made of a curly white beard is that you can act a fool and no one knows it’s you. So basically that is what I did all night, which complete strangers love. I think in another life I was an actor.

I brought along my elf photographer friend Rachel and she photographed the entire night, I’ll post those pictures as soon as I have them. Until I have that physical proof of how awesome the night was you will have to go off of my list of favorite things:

1) The lovely lady at the bar who, I think, had a bit of a Santa fetish. There are several photos of this young lady trying to get frisky with Santa, but turns out Santa is a bit of a tease.
2) The gay men that got saucy with Santa. I found out that Bears actually really DO like Santa. And turns out that Santa doesn’t mind getting grabby when provoked.
3) My walk to the bar. This was earlier in the night so people were sober and genuinely excited and merry. I had several guys walk out of their way for a block talking with me and listening to me talk to everyone I passed.
4) My walk home from the bar. This was later when everyone was wasted. Holy hell! I was a mini-celebrity. I actually almost shut down the intersection of Belmont and Halsted. Cabs were honking, people waving from cars, people on the other side of the street yelling and freaking out, people running across the street to take photos with me. If you have ever needed a confidence booster seriously, just dress as Santa, go to Boystown in the middle of the night on a Friday or Saturday. SO much fun.
5) Seeing my friends and being able to fake hit on them. I’m not sure that I did a great job or anything, but its fun to be able to see your friends as a different person, and to see how surprised they are by you.
6) Seeing the joy and Christmas spirit twinkling in people’s eyes.
7) Having drunk women climb all over me.
Because I don’t have any photos from my event I will just leave you with these thoughts for today. I’m not really sure what to call myself. I’m not a performer, or a comedian, or just a Santa that sits and asks what kiddies want for Christmas. I think I’ll just have to go with Christmas time Santa Entertainment Liaison. And here are my last thoughts:

So basically I’m pretty badass.
*When I woke up this morning my legs were completely sore. I feel like I did lunges and squats all night. I just realized it’s because parties of up to 4 adults were sitting on my lap. What a strange workout.

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