Day 6 – Santa’s Not To-Do List

As a famous character actor I need to really decide what type of Santa I am. So I made a small collage of Santa’s I shouldn’t be.
Day 6 - Sutton Santa's Not To Be

And here is a list of guidelines and rules for my Santa:
1) No drinking to excess. I mean of course I can take a little nip from some spiked nog, but being a fall down drunk Santa (see “Bad Santa”) is not the wink and nod that I want to give to the ancestry of St. Nicks.

2) As much fun as it might sound, trying out a chimney might be construed as trespassing in real life.

3) Thankfully most of my gigs are for adults and that means whatever happens in Chicago stays in Chicago. Any sort of shady Santa activities will remain a secret from Mrs. Claus.

4) The Santa and lap sitter relationship is a sacred one. It is a bond that I shall not desecrate with inappropriate touching of adult women. The touching will all be done under the mistletoe.

5) I shall not let any cougar go un-hit-on. Cougars like Santa right?

Also, I know that this whole “Sarah’s going to transform herself into Santa for little amounts of money” is a little strange. But I promise not to become this guy.

North Pole News Post #1)
I have my first official paying Santa gig this Friday. I’m the surprise for a work party, and it is NOT the Burnett Breakfast, believe me, I wish it was. Anyways, I have plenty of dirty Santa jokes, dirty lap dance jokes, and plenty of dirty dirty things to pass out.

North Pole News Post #2)
The Halsted’s Bar + Grill event has been moved to Friday, December 16th. ALSO, I will be bringing Santa’s little helper, aka Mistress, who will be taking photos at the Snaps with Santa Photo Booth. Come one, come all, get your photo taken on Santa’s Lap and I’ll post those photos on my blog.

Advertisements

One thought on “Day 6 – Santa’s Not To-Do List

  1. Kelly says:

    Well, if you change your mind and need that Christmas sweatshirt to help complete the ensemble…just let me know. Pretty sure it still exists somewhere in the Monahan closets! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: