Day 3 – Santa Sutton Vs. Siri

For my Santa Studies today I thought I would read through the poem, “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” I remember it being rich with Santa descriptions. Well, I happened to be waiting for someone in my car so I decide to ask my new iPhone’s Siri to find me the poem. You know what I learned?

1) Siri does not understand me for crap! That simple command took me 5 minutes! The time it took to get frustrated with that little lady was obviously longer than it would have taken for me to just google it myself. After the 5th try it became a matter of principle that I was going to use this damn Siri thing.

2) Man! That poem is long! And it’s full of great Santa info. I learned something about his bowl full of jelly, he’s a pipe smoker (hopefully just tobacco, he shouldn’t be driving a sleigh while under the influence of medicinal marijuana), and in this description his beard is pure white, not grey and wiry like in Elf. And I believe this to be one of the Holy Grail’s of Santa descriptions.

Well, I decided to document my learnings via a video. I asked Siri to record and then dictate as I read. Note, I edited that story to the stanzas that mention what Santa is like.  After that, I re-recorded it using the lovely script, via iPhone Notes, that Siri provided me with. As you can see, Siri and I are having communication issues. If you get bored of the normal version skip to 1:40 for the Siri edited version, or heck, read Siri’s transcript below the video.

Twas the night before Christmas when alter the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse
The stockings wert hung by the chimney with Claire
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon woods be there

With a little old driver so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be say net
More rapid than eagles his courses they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them my name

Now – are now dancer now printer and vixen
On comment on Cupid on on Donner and bullets in
The top of the porch to the top of the wall
– away – away – away all

He was dressed all in for from head to his foot
And his close we’re all tarnished with ashes and set
A bundle of toys get flung on his back
And he looked like a Pedler just opening his packet

His eyes how they twinkled his dimples how merry
His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry’s
Job little mouth was drawn like a boat
And the Beard of his chin was as white as the snow

The stump of a pipe you help tighten his teeth
This in the smoke it encircled his head like Aretes
He had a broad face in a little browned belly
That shook when he left like a bowl full of jelly

He was chubby and plump a right jolly old self
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
A winking his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread

He spoke not a word but went straight to is working
Filled all the stockings them turned with a jerk
And laying his finger a side of his nose
And giving anon up a chimney he rose

He’s bring to his way to his team gave a whistle
And away Dailsville like the download but this’ll
But I heard him explain ere he drove out of sight
Happy Christmas to all into all good night

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One thought on “Day 3 – Santa Sutton Vs. Siri

  1. Eee says:

    I laughed my butt off watching this. I feel the same way about Siri. I think she hates me.

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